Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Grain of Sand


Grain of Sand
Ironically and deceptively when my thin pendulum swings down I keep my head down, super-glued to any semi solid surface looking toward the seat-belt to preface my pain. And I wallow in my bed stuck in mind, listening to the seeds that have adapted to the thorns and my sins protrude, like walking through a slum, the sadness and sorrow just sticks to you; like my bed is the streets into the founding fathers Virginia and my coat is stained red and my shame for my coat, just flourishes the fact that what I’m trying to hide is easier to see because I’m shoving it up the escalator. And when I’m feeling elation I jauntily sprawl out in bed lay my head on a pillow, relishing in this weariness of good-cause. I relish that this is like the third day, my spirit is lively, it’s striving to be your palm tree when that tsunami hits and displacements about. I lay in bed warm and snug, like this four-sided domain is soundproofed to the murmurs of this world and as I drift off to this trouble and paradise, I become unhinged, in the wake of devastation you are my brotherly love, but in this fixed system of asphyxiation, we call life, we have nothing to say. We’ve lived next to each other for twelve years and your name is as foreign as the seven billionth person in the world. Why can’t we see that the fumes are lighting up and this brotherly love has become utterly tough, because when it gets tense I know what might happen, we’ve grown so lethargic and we guard it like its  the worlds commodity, when we were suffering on the brink of devastation and the stock market crashed, we took of the life preserver that we so frequently use as a crutch and began to swim in unison with one another, life isn’t a competition for the grade that extra buck, its a commitment seven billion and growing, use your words like rice to the starving, your thoughts like novocaine to those prepped for the ER, your body language like fuel to those he need to be airlifted. Gold can’t be sold without being tempered once or twice, we are a community. Its unity and you and me. So regardless of the fact of how I’m feeling, if I’m laying in bed because I feel obligated or that my soul is sporadically dancing out of joy and I need a rest, don’t praise me for my sturdiness, I’m only a tree in his forest.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Novocaine: The Day to Day Basis

                                                         Novocaine: The Day  to Day Basis

l. Lets take a step out of the script, my vision frequently creating, reshaping this parade, but what I am I to make of this deflating essence, Sick of all the questions, I’d like to take a step one day, without being a critic. My vision isn’t a known decision, I guess that's why its ruining me, with every schisming thought, I’m envisioning all that was once taught go right out the window. You give me the power to see a different tent, are you near me,  can I breathe a different scent, because this current air is sentencing me to death. I’m the making of you and I’m taking everything you drew . Give me the original so I can misconstrue and get burned by this misused fire. I’m eternally sorry, but I’m here on this plain, and I’m taking a beating, like I street fight verse yourself, You gave me fire, before I was able to tactfully know this fire was higher. Forget the world war and open the doors I’m traveling on a street of trash, stifling through the ash looking for my past. I’m not sure how it ever happened, but I guess that continual burn, had a bit of sweetness to it. I guess you’d say I built a dependency on chasing the fire, holding it to my skin, so that's the taste of bad, so then its gotta be straight up from there. A daily dose of destruction and unraveling so that when I go out, I’m all smiles and grins. If it keeps me from all the hurts that lay around and contour me back to the drawing board. It’s a worldly Novocaine I'm out cold, and the pain is untold, so I’ll keep pushing forward. I’ve done it one way and I don’t wanna stay. Murmured round the world you’ll hear people say “its to help the weak to survive”, but if that’s what its like to survive, crawling from New York to California on nothing but the soles of your hands and the skin on your stomach. then I’m aiming to thrive. So go head yeshua nother challenge, cause you’ll just prove my fathers talents.

ll. Slither and slide, societies my forest. I walk around like a tourist, you can walk by and I’ll flourish in my oceanic mind but you’ll leisurely walk by and coach the inner manic I’ll return the look, to unturn the built up hooks, I’m swimming in my mind as I’m contwined between the walls, I’m standing in a one by one. Hoping for something to come, because I’m coming undone. Like a baseball that's seen too much time. It just takes that accurately measured blow to begin the rip of one seam, and then with that one rip, attracts that person who was always curious to see what's on the inside, because it was never obvious to me with you alluring voice and your charmful words you're grabbing the scissors and the razor blade, but its never evident that you're trying to make the danger fade, so with every little incision, I’m not questioning your permission. Everyone wants the fruit and never the peel, but my fruit has already been looted. It’s like I bloom once a year, so father I yearn for your peace and rest, because my decentness has faded, like the blue moon. And I’m stuck here living in open season, because with every positive thought, there’s always a shell of buck-shot to bleed it thin and make me question if I’ll ever get a second wind. I need your life and compassion as a lily pad needs to set on a stream. I use to be lively and bright-eyed until someone lit the stakes that quickly dried out this pond and I’m sitting there looking for water but all there is fire. But in all these attempts to gulliver my travels, every piece of gold has to be run through inspection, so I guess I must be pretty valuable if this fire is so malleable. When I’m smiling don’t try and defile it, because I’m a lamp that's connected to the most-high.







lll.  I can have peace of mind when the end times come, when I don't have the strength, and destruction wipes his feet at my door ready to go twelve rounds. The secret to right thinking is right living, so why am I in bed: tossing and turning in my vitriol, covering up with shame, using guilt to support my head and neck; laying in this bed, this cesspool I’m through being bound at the temples because I have to wrestle with a gator with every step, because the bar has been lowered to compensate my infamy, but the longer this enemy draws near to me, it raises my resiliency  giving some validity, to a thing I call faith, my anchor; The standard of living has to be reinstated after a spiritual emancipation, we’re looking for the river basin, because we’ve seen your grace we’ve had a little taste and with your steadfast haste you’re quickening the pace,  you say come to the river, drink from the cup I pour because in the absence of caring for every nook and cranny of my soul, your unending mercy is eclipsing all the self-induced holes and curing the plague ridden cloth of my heart, cause I’m not going to walk around treasuring my life like its the only thing that matters, because if you carry your hourglass in your hands, trying to protect it , at the end of the day you’ll find it smashed in a moments neglect; I’m only here on a sixty year layover I’ll give you my blood and sweat, because I know altruism comes at cost, but when I pour myself out and lay it in your hands  with every fiber and DNA strand; I’m feeling a little tired and bits and pieces get lost in transit, but I know, like a lamp, where my next recharging is coming from.


Anyways

                                                                          Anyways

Since when has it become such an earthbending feat, a mind mending wave of heat to partake in this sweet treat, because it leads me away from defeat, you treat me like a king even though I’ve never done a single thing. And now I’m seeing things in a brighter light, I’m living a lighter life, despite the strife. With every smile you leave me with intrigue, giving me everything-I-need. Your presence is heavens essence and even though life is like the road to Emmaus you still say  this powerful in word and deed you supersede every one of my needs, and I repay you by my actions causing you to bleed, and the seeds of your holy creed, that I so frequently need, but yet you're still my steed. I’m a thorn in your side, but you keep me walking firm, and even when I’m worn, I can be warm.       

Lack Of Reaction



Lack Of Reaction

It’s not that you know how to speak better, its not that you're speaking louder or quieter. Its that you’re genuinely putting sustenance behind them, you ask how I am and as I’m giving you a well thought-out response, you just start looking around for the next thing to come, something better, something different, put a price-tag on my forehead, it doesn’t take talent. Skill. experience. It takes effort and I guess you're not willing to invest it. Its like we’re incapacitated. We look at each other like a grenade just went off right next to us and with your words you lift me up and with mine I’ll fireman's carry you. We both have no strength, and we all have no clue where we are going. but we’ll find strength in each other, with each spoken phrase I can feel the adjustments my body makes. I haven’t slept in days but I can feel my eyes gently raise from the sturdy weight of weariness and my muscles loosen up and with this back and forth, we pick up hints and clues of the journey ahead, and we arise from our crippling and we suddenly have the means to become supreme and conquer this dream. We walk foot by foot, your words are food, do I want a square meal, or a piece of hollowed bamboo, they can encourage me to chase the dreams that reason and logic chase away, or put me in the hold for a few days for punishment for your vacancy, because you’re always gracefully chasing after-Wait. your disdain for me makes me linger off this path paved for me, to rear into the jungle get injured, and with my sights set on the paved way, I just can’t put my finger on the trigger, I guess my perception has no direction I’ll just keep trudging through the jungle, but you're on the paved way, and your words call out to me, like I’m shipwrecked and you're the siren, but the tide has turned and your pressing rewind so I don't wreck, plank by plank, I’m not going to walk off it again, “Oh thanks for that support, I came out of the jungle and by God was I rich, because there's always more to tell about a negative story than a positive. “Ya don’t say, hm. The only way we can stand is on our knees with lifted hands”.







Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Scroll Of Dirt

Scroll Of Dirt
You’ve never spoke up before, when our spokes sluggishly glazed by, and we were catching on to all the fun plans, we were in each others hands. We laughed, we played, but you were the outcast among us, are kind words and childish laughter was an indirect spit in the face. We were the makings of many and you were the byproduct of one, but why did it take me so long to grow ears equipped to your frequency. I’ve walked through here a good few hundred times, but I couldn’t ever find you. You’d leave an imprint in your displaced sand, but I’m just a man and I’ve never even seen the dirt that displayed me. Why all of a sudden now. Instead of chasing something of worth, I’m changing something thats nothing. This dirt can tell no lies its withered and old, but continually tries, just by swiveling it between my palms, I’m flipping through its novel and it’s showing me. And even the the memories aren’t vivid and there a little choppy, walking past you is guiding me on a timeline and all this time your were holding back all these secrets, catching my peak of interest and all of a sudden of the eyes to see you, caressing your grittiness, I gently let you slip through my fingers, so someone else can read this dirty book.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

You Smile

You Smile 
 
Fire Tempered, Eyes whimpered, strength beyond.
Broken toes, open wholes, story, life. 
Distilled filled, now entering civil war.
Frigid cold, white chilling embers, home.
Only one tree, in his forest.

Monday, April 29, 2013

More Like Pissed At Me (Hughes)


More Like Pissed At Me


“How long have you been feeling like this?”


“What can I say, I’m bred for a revolution, and I think I might have found the solution. Like my great ancestors they never had peace and when they tried it only one side bought it. They called it manifest destiny but I call it being pissed at me, I lose control and all the unspeakable actions conspired between them, are now happening on the front-lines of my brain-stem. But when I’m not in control I know who is. ‘Look Doc I mean no disrespect, but you can prescribe any medication, and in effect I can watch me become a comatosed whore of society.’ Manifest destiny is causing an internal hysterectomy, you’re on both sides of the war, you load your musket and you pull the trigger, you’re bitter enemies and you hope that the lead bullet hits, but on the other side, you’re doing a war-cry hoping God’s puts a barrier around you, but the battlefields of the mid-west are now calmed by concrete, and now its a contest a battle of the voices, a protest for control, someone call Marx, because I just  woke up with some new marks. A new abrasion, a break from yesterdays inflammation and its starting to emulate and my mind is starting to mutilate itself, and all this hate is starting to accumulate, and while this mental civil war is taking place, excommunicate me from my common place, take away my friends, steal my passion and kick me out captain, because I’m done being victim to myself. This stage coach is headed for a great gorge and I won’t be apart of this population purge because if I deserve to live, someone should be able to witness it. I can’t steer this stage coach, so please take the wheel father.”


“Well we could”... “No no save it I’ve found my medication in meditation, you can throw your 4 year degree and you're fancy words up in my face, but I wanna teach, so keep your twenty character words, because you’re not going to perform a lobotomy on me and turn me into a living anomaly.